COMPANIONSHIP! WHICH CATEGORY DO YOU BELONG?

​We all want COMPANIONSHIP, we all want to be loved,  to be cared for, to be told we look BEAUTIFUL and HANDSOME, we all want to be needed.

With the increasing rate of Divorce in the country and Christian marriages also as high, I see alot of single parents in the future. People who would rather focus on their career and when stable enough get either a surrogate (men) or a sperm doner (women) and have a family.

As I have said time and time again, we need to learn to bring VALUE to a relationship and if you can't do that then be single. There are too many failed relationships and marriages. Since DIVORCE became an option, it changed everything.

Divorce simply put is when two married people break up because either they hate each other, can't seem to agree and work on their relationship or they just love someone else, then they split up their children, house and money, they fight over everything and whoever has the best lawyer wins.

Comprende!

You have people going into marriages thinking if it don't work out, worse case scenario I get a  divorce. People also considering contract marriage. For Instance, like Janet Jackson who married Wissam Saleh Al Mana, the Qatari business magnate for 5 years and 3 months after she gave birth to their son, the marriage was annulled their marriage reasoning being:

"Janet and Wissam don't see eye to eye on many things," a source tells E!.

"One of the many divorcing factors was their religious beliefs. Wissam and Janet did not feel that they were on the same page when it came to this and the way they wanted their child to get raised. Janet is more of a free spirit than Wissam. Cultural difference and backgrounds played a major role."

There are also great women like Oprah Winfrey who told the magazine that marriage has never been on the table for her and her pertner for 32 years Stedman Graham. In fact, she says that the answer to a question she once asked Stedman — “What would have happened if we had actually gotten married?” — is that they wouldn’t be together at all. For her, “marriage requires a different way of being in this world” and to put it simply, Oprah wasn’t willing to ‘be’ that way. “[Stedman’s] interpretation of what it means to be a husband and what it would mean for me to be a wife would have been pretty traditional, and I would not have been able to fit into that,” she explained further.  

And for those who cherish the traditional 'Marriage', want to make sure it last till and believe in the saying 'Till Death Do Us Part' then these tips below are just the thing you need.

How to Avoid Getting a Divorce

1. Listen to your partner: Open and honest communication is crucial for a good marriage. Listen patiently when your partner comes to you with problems or concerns about your relationship. Being attentive in conversation will help you understand what makes them unhappy and give you a chance to take action. 

2. Stay positive: Your spouse fell in love with a happy and emotionally balanced person. If you have become exhausted by conflict in the relationship or no longer feel your marriage is salvageable, take a step back. It’s natural to feel down about conflicts in your relationship, but try to focus on the big picture. When you feel depressed about the state of your relationship, think back on all the good times you've had with your spouse. Your happiness should not be dependent on the other person. Focus on being the best you can be, even if your partner is not.

3. Be flexible: Don’t demand that everything be done your way. Marriage is a cooperative partnership. Neither of you will get your way all the time. If you and your partner have different goals and ideas -- whether its about where to move or where to dine -- hear each other out. Have conversations, not monologues. Listen to your partner and expect that he or she will listen to you. Let certain things go. Imagine that you wanted chicken but she made soup, or you wanted to see a play but he insists on going to the ball game. In either case, and with either decision, life goes on. Pick your battles and let the trivial stuff go. Being flexible doesn’t mean your spouse should walk all over you. There are times when the decision not to make concessions is the right one.

4. Keep up appearances: While physical attraction is only one part of love, in our visual culture, it plays an important role in how we think about and relate to our partner. When you go out with your spouse, dress nicely to show that you consider your time together special. Take care of your health, too. Eat a nutritious, balanced diet with lots of fruit and vegetables. Aim for thirty minutes of exercise each day. Dressing well and taking care of your appearance will keep your partner attracted to you.

5. Practice healthy communication: Only speak to your partner when you are in a mood and state appropriate to do so. Do not yell at your spouse. If you feel anger building on your side or your spouse’s, suggest that you both take some time out to cool off and resume the conversation later.

Avoid trigger topics, the issues and problems which lead you and your spouse to bicker.

6. Balance your time: Healthy couples should spend time together as well as apart. Catch a movie, play mini-golf, go bowling – whatever it is you both enjoy doing, do it together. Try new things and have adventures that you can bond over. But when you need some alone time to recharge, let your partner know. You and your partner are not clones, and won’t be interested in all the same activities. Give each other space to pursue the hobbies and interests you each enjoy.

7. Stay loyal to your spouse: It might seem tempting to have a brief fling or an extended affair with someone who gives you the attention and affection that your spouse won’t. But remember, your spouse, not your fling, is your family. Violating the bond of marriage can propel you toward divorce and leave you feeling guilty. Identify situations or individuals you know may lead you to infidelity like your ex and avoid them wherever possible.

"Love is an irresistible desire to be Irresistibly  desired"

So please cherish what you have!

Yours Truly

Joey D damsel